


Come Home, Abram

by emmerrr



Series: To live will be an awfully big adventure [7]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 22:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9292265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmerrr/pseuds/emmerrr
Summary: It's Nathaniel Wesninski's 20th birthday, and Neil is nowhere to be found.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The 'Neil does a runner' trope has probably been done a thousand times, but whatever, I'm doing it anyway :)

When Andrew wakes up and climbs out of his loft, Neil is gone.

This shouldn’t mean anything; Neil is often gone in the mornings, out for a run at the crack of dawn for some indeterminable reason. But he’s always back again no later than 9, sweaty and rosy cheeked, hair plastered to his forehead in a way that Andrew shouldn’t find attractive but somehow, annoyingly, he does anyway. This time is different, and Andrew can tell instinctively, the same way he’d know if he’d woken up with a limb missing; Neil is _gone_. Andrew checks Neil’s safe to confirm and it's empty — Neil’s duffel is nowhere to be seen. There’s nothing left. How he managed that without waking Andrew or anyone else, Andrew doesn’t know. He’s been sleeping better lately; less restless. That’s probably Neil’s fault as well.

Andrew isn't entirely surprised to find Neil gone today of all days — that is to say, Nathaniel Wesninski’s 20th birthday — but dealing with the reality of a missing Neil definitely wasn’t on his agenda. Andrew doesn’t see the point in dwelling; it’s a waste of energy, but he knows, even if he can’t relate, that on days like this Neil struggles with his past.

So no, not entirely surprised. But irritated, nonetheless.

Kevin’s alarm goes off and Andrew turns towards the sound, waiting for Kevin’s disgruntled groan before he blindly swats his hand around to turn it off, like he did yesterday, and the day before that. He doesn’t disappoint, and same as always, once it’s off he rolls over to fall back asleep. Not today.

“Kevin,” Andrew says, just loud enough to get a reaction.

Kevin sits up blearily. Andrew knows that if Neil had tried to get Kevin’s attention this early, he would have been ignored, but Andrew doesn’t usually deign to speak to Kevin until he’s had at least one cup of coffee, and that alone is enough to rouse Kevin’s curiosity. “What,” Kevin says flatly, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

Andrew jerks his head towards Neil’s empty bed. Kevin glances over and then back at Andrew. “Where’s Neil?”

“That,” Andrew says, “is a very good question.” His tone is detached as ever, but Andrew can feel just the hint of panic flaring up in his stomach. He recognises it because he remembers the last time Neil disappeared. He remembers a discarded racquet and duffel and a phone with an ominous ‘0’ text. He remembers a helpless fear, and a missing Neil is a trigger to that fear.

It’s a dulled feeling compared to last time though. Neil has clearly left of his own volition and not been snatched in the night, and Andrew thinks that he probably isn’t in any immediate danger. At least, no more than usual — he’s still Neil Josten, Foxes starting striker with the smart mouth who seems to have an affinity for antagonising incredibly dangerous people. No need to worry.

Kevin hoists himself out of bed, pulls on a t-shirt and heads over to Neil’s bed to investigate. What he’s investigating, Andrew doesn’t know — there’s nothing _to_ investigate. Kevin turns to Andrew, eyebrows knitted together worriedly. “Should we call Coach?”

“What for?” Andrew says with a shrug. “He’ll come back.”

“Andrew, he’s taken all his stuff.”

And yes, admittedly, that’s a cause for concern, but it’s one Andrew doesn’t want to think too hard about right now. Neil’s a flight-risk, Andrew knows this, but Andrew also told Neil to stay, and he doesn’t think Neil has forgotten that. It’s just a bad day, and Andrew knows all about bad days. Neil will come back.

“Tell Coach that Neil and I are missing practice today. Don’t tell anyone that he’s gone.”

“Andrew—”

“Kevin,” Andrew says, and it’s a warning, even if Andrew hasn’t reached for his knives yet. Kevin recognises it as such and eventually he nods, followed by a frustrated sigh. Andrew doesn’t like repeating himself, but he does it anyway. “He’ll come back.”

He’s not sure if he’s trying to convince Kevin or himself.

* * *

 

When Kevin has left the dorm for practice, Andrew locks the door behind him and then sits on his desk by the window, methodically smoking his way through cigarette after cigarette.

He tells himself he doesn’t need to call Neil because he’s coming back, but he does anyway. Twice. Neil doesn’t answer, but the phone still rings out, and Andrew chooses to take that as an encouraging sign. The hours drag, and eventually Andrew leaves the dorm before Kevin and the rest of the Foxes come back. No doubt they’ll all come by to find out why Neil and Andrew weren’t at practice and Andrew can’t deal with that. He grabs the keys to the Maserati and pulls on his coat — the one that matches Neil’s — and he drives to Columbia.

He goes to the house on the off chance Neil will be there, which of course, he isn’t, and the pit of panic Andrew has been keeping at bay all day starts to grow.

He stays for a couple of hours, sitting on the sofa and smoking, ignoring the calls on his phone from Kevin and Nicky and Coach. Kevin, traitor to the last, has probably told the team about Neil. He half wonders if they’re searching campus for him. Andrew doesn’t much care for the Foxes but they would do anything for Neil, and that’s always been fairly interesting to witness.

Andrew tries to call Neil one more time to no avail before getting back in his car and heading back to campus. He doesn’t know where Neil could be; he’s had an entire day to get as far away as possible and Andrew doesn’t even know where to start. He should have started looking as soon he noticed Neil was missing.

He was supposed to come back.

* * *

 

It’s dark as Andrew drives up the highway, and he almost misses the familiar figure with auburn hair standing in a lay-by with his thumb out, illuminated by a streetlight. Andrew clenches his jaw and pulls into the lay-by a little too quickly; Neil has to leap out of the way. Good.

Andrew turns on his hazard lights and gets out of the car. Neil has retreated to the metal railing at the side of the road and perches on it, head down. He drops his duffel at his feet. Andrew follows him over and sits next to him, careful to keep a bit of distance between their bodies. He takes out his cigarettes and shakes two loose, lights them, and hands one to Neil. He takes it wordlessly. Andrew takes a long drag of his cigarette and waits.

“Have you been looking for me?” Neil asks at last, his own cigarette cupped in between his hands.

“No,” Andrew says, breathing out smoke, and it’s sort of true.

Neil lifts his head to look at Andrew properly. “Well, you found me anyway.”

“I didn’t know you were lost.”

Neil shrugs and looks away. “Just a little.” Andrew knows he doesn’t mean in the literal sense. Neil hesitates. “Today is—”

“I know what today is,” Andrew cuts him off. “I don’t care.”

“Me neither.”

“Liar.”

Neil glances back at Andrew and amends his statement. “I wish I didn’t care.”

Andrew sighs. “Wishing is pointless.”

Neil shifts closer to Andrew, enough that he can hook his ankle around Andrew's. It's a small gesture, and Andrew allows it. “I’m sorry.” Andrew shoots a glare at Neil, who stares back unflinching. “I know you don’t like apologies, but I am.”

Of course he is. Neil's always sorry. “You took all your shit,” Andrew remarks, gesturing to the duffel at Neil’s feet.

“I know. I have so much of it now, Andrew. It’s so much heavier than it used to be.” Andrew doesn’t think he’ll live long enough to ever truly understand all the complicated layers of Neil’s psyche, but he knows that this is something else Neil struggles with. Owning things. Being tethered. Belonging, even though it’s all he wants.

At length, Andrew drags his gaze away from Neil’s face. “Where did you go?” he asks. It seems like the most important question.

Neil shrugs again, infuriatingly. “I didn’t really _go_ anywhere. I just went _away_. I wanted to see how far I could get.”

“And then?” Andrew prompts.

“And then I turned around. I wanted to come back.”

He looks so earnest, blue eyes wide and unblinking, and Andrew runs a hand over his face so that he can’t see Neil. He is abruptly exhausted, but quietly vindicated; Neil was heading home, just like Andrew said he would. Up yours, Kevin. “Neil, have you been hitchhiking all day?”

“Sort of,” Neil admits sheepishly. “I walked a lot too.”

"Is this going to be a yearly occurrence? I'd like to be able to plan accordingly," Andrew says dryly.

"I hope not," Neil says quietly, but then he grins. "Are you going to keep me around then?"

Andrew chooses to ignore that. “What am I going to do with you?” he asks instead, and it's a serious question. Neil is a conundrum, but there's not a lot Andrew can do about that now, it's much too late. Neil might be the bane of Andrew's existence, but he couldn't very well do without him.

“Killing me is usually your favourite option,” Neil says wryly, and Andrew arches an eyebrow at him.

“You probably shouldn’t give me any ideas. It’s been a very long day.”

“I know,” Neil says, and he sounds apologetic again.

Andrew finishes his cigarette and stands up, flicking the remnants away. He steps in front of Neil and reaches out to tilt Neil’s chin up and look him in the eye.

“Are you coming home, Neil?”

Neil stares back for an endless minute and then asks, “Do you _want_ me to come home?”

It’s a question Neil already knows the answer to, and Andrew _knows_ he knows. The ‘nothing’ between them that has never been nothing involves a lot of things that go unsaid, things that are just _understood_. Neil never asks too much. He never pushes Andrew too hard. He always stops when Andrew says stop. But sometimes — just sometimes — Andrew knows that Neil wants him to use his words.

So he picks up Neil’s discarded duffel off the ground and says, “Come home, Abram.”

Neil smiles, and Andrew knows that it’s enough.

It’s enough for now.


End file.
